LOA !!!!

Day 67 !!!!
And I was totally not exspecting this to arrive. So as you imagine I had no paperwork ready.
 None.
But I was home to recieve the LOA delivery.
But I was only home because I was recovering from a concussion after my big black lab knocked me out cold the day before !

Here is a picture of the culprit. Do not let those pink fairy wings fool you he is big , clumsy and will mow you down :)

So I scrambled to fill out all of the paperwork in my altered state. This has been one of the greatest lessons in procrastination  :)
I have to be honest my mind was focused on an email that I woke up to earlier that day. One of the mom's from our SWI traveled to Caden's orphanage the day before. So I awoke to some new pictures of our little guy who is clearly not so little sporting a double chin :)

Caden looks huge ! I was so glad to hear that he is walking and running very well. She also said that he is inquisitive as he kept getting into their backpack :)
But there is a sadness in those blue eyes. As we have spent our days complaining about the wait and all of the hoops we have had to jump through this little guy spends everyday doing the same thing.

Waiting.

Wondering.

Existing.

I am so thankful that he is so well fed and has been so well taken care of . But I have to say that it saddens me that he has grown up so much without us there. For us, Caden has gone from a baby to a toddler overnight. But for him, I bet it feels like an eternity.

Hang tight little man! Mommy will be there soon.

And I am going to hold you and carry you around even if it breaks my back !!!!!!


 

Letting go

I have to be honest this is one of the hardest things to do as a parent. But after years of hovering ,worrying. and loving, ready or not this time does eventually come.
And for me it is here.
It really did not hit me as we prepared for Nick's Senior prom

 or even graduation.

 But on Thursday my baby will turn 18 . I have to be honest his birthday has hit me hard.
 Where did all of the time go????

I have done a great deal of reflection over the past few weeks about letting go. Of course, you never let go completely ...ever. So I would just like to put that out there Nick just in case you are reading this :) But you do have to let go and let them experience life. It is kind of like letting go of their wings that you have been holding on to. Scared to let go to soon because they may fall. But the time does come and you do have to let them fly. 
 I have to say that Nick has made this a little easier for me than I expected. He has grown into such a kind,caring,and  compassionate young man. When friends did not make the "best " choices, Nick did. 

 As a mom all of the hard work has paid off and the person that he has become  has told me that I have done my job well. And trust me there is no greater reward than this.

I love you more than you will ever know my little Raggie Roo. And you have made me the proudest mom ever.




 

The "new" perfect

It is amazing to me as an adoptive mom to two of the most amazing little girls that they would even be considered "special needs".I know for a fact that if I was evaluated, I would too have been labeled special needs with all of my imperfections.   Although, we do  discuss the fact that they both were considered special needs we do not by anyway let that label define who they are. We merely share this part of their story to educate those about the term "special needs"  and  hope that through sharing, a door will be opened for another child who waits to know the love of a family.
Rainbow Kids created a wonderful video explaining this label and how it does not define these children who wait.
Look closely and you just might recognize a really handsome little fella spotlighted in the video :)

Waiting Child Video

Please pass the video on and lets continue to educate people about the term" special needs" .
 Who knows just maybe by doing this someones life could be blessed by one of these amazing waiting children!

I do indeed feel blessed to have a different "looking glass "  and a new found definition of what perfection  really means to me.

 

Video of my man :)

Well it appears that I can post Caden's video thanks to a dear friend :)
Here is one of Caden's videos.
 As you will see my little man is not lacking in the energy department !

So anyone who ever wonders about my new found  obsession  devotion with the gym .... wonder no more :) Caden is fast and as you mamas know we must be faster :)
And the faster he goes the more he giggles :)
Man, am I in trouble or what !

 

A rebel and his wheels

Just when I think that I have had all I can take of this crazy process and wait, something really wonderful happens ...

 a video of the most precious , giggling, bundle of joy that I have ever laid my eyes on is sent to me !

 I can not post the video but trust me this baby boy of mine is giggling as he drives this car up and down the hallways of his orphanage.

Caden is a true one handed rebel on red wheels  :) And just loving every single second of it!

 I have watched this video at least a million times :)

Okay, it is probably closer to 10 million  but who is counting :)  

I have to admit I have studied every expression ,every look , and every sweet smile of my little man. 

And I just know when to hang it up , whip out the white flag and  admit defeat .

This little guy has got my heart wrapped around each and every one of those little pudgy  fingers.

So I give up Caden ! You have just won the fierce love and complete devotion of one crazy blond headed mama who loves you beyond measure!

And I am warning you now that when we finally do meet face to face, I am going to kiss every square inch of those precious cheeks , scoop you up in my arms  and never let you go.

 

Retail Therapy

Do not let anyone tell you that retail therapy is just when you are expecting a girl :)

Shopping  can be quite therapeutic during these long waits. I think that this LOA wait is by far the worst.

 I have exchanged shopping for frilly pink  bows to toddler  hats for his little blonde locks. I have to be honest I love it :) I first was a mom to boys and this was all I knew before the girls blessed our lives. And blessed our lives they have indeed . But there is something about the idea of a little blue filling our lives that is so familiar in such a good sort of way.
 So I will continue to welcome the distraction that shopping provides :) and continue to dream about the day I get to finally hold this sweet baby of mine :)

I thought this one was just perfect for the new man in my life :) Based on the pictures that I have seen from the orphanage this t- shirt was a must have !

Come on clock tick faster already this mommy is ready to hold her baby boy!
 

Easter

Ava was a bit excited about her goodies :)

Peyton is all about the candy :)

Jake is never too old to participate in the fun!

Bugs says he looks this cute year round :)

Ava was the big winner in the Easter egg hunt again this year 

But snow white did not care ...like I said she is really into the candy!

Bugs said "Happy Easter to all"

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter shared with family and friends!